I rarely took much away from anyone who ever yelled at me ... I could be wrong as two left shoes, but would go into another (subconscious) place if the decibel range of the giving end of an argument/scolding exceeded a certain level. Luckily, I stayed out of trouble for the most part as a kid. But as I got older, I experienced those who didn't have to yell ... but spoke to me in a demeaning way ... in efforts to tear me down ... Whether they were simply mean, or had a personal agenda ... I never swallowed it ... I never digested it ... Even being a more reserved/quiet individual … I did/do not take it!
Sooooo, if I have standards in the manner in which I allow others to address me ... What's the logic in speaking to myself in similar detrimental ways??? For 12 years ... I'd tear myself down internally with words, when I continued to FAIL at weight loss. It was almost abusive:
* Why are you so d*mn weak?
* How could you let yourself get to this point?
* You're a failure!
* You'll never succeed!
* Why do you keep messing up?
* What's so hard about not eating?
* Get up off the coach, you're so lazy!
If what I said ... were to be said by someone else ... it would probably warrant a ... ::in Shen-nehneh's voice:: "OH NO THEY DIDN'T!!!" ... lol ...
The voice that calls you fat ... lazy ... for not encompassing the discipline and will power to stay on track. This voice (weapons of shame and/or guilt) worked sometimes ... adding fuel to the fire to stop eating or to go work out. But it never stayed. And now, I realize why it should have been no surprise. When I blocked out negativity from those who didn't have a caring and/or supportive tone. I shut them out. I guess, I was no exception to that criteria.
I deserve better ... even from ... ME.
If it's unkind, pay attention to how you can change the vocabulary of your mind ... To lose weight and keep it off (especially when you're an emotional eater, binge eater or compulsive overeater) is H-A-R-D work. Talk to yourself in a tone that is considerate to that ... Use loving and compassionate terms and verbal motivators. And in the most simple of terms, be nice to yourself ...
P.S. we must, must, must … delve into the aspects of our mental and emotional barriers to weight loss … every and any action is derivative of some sort of thought … it’s deeper than just diet and exercise … and yes … I’ve been playing Rick Ross’ It’s Deeper Than Rap album since Tuesday … lol …
Make it a great day!!! ;)