1. Sell me a bag of frozen pre-cut broccoli and I get home to find out that 95% of what's in the bag are stalk pieces!
2. Ever ask to use any of my yoga mats. I don't know you or your sweat glands like that.
3. Hand out club fliers at our community health-screening event. Sir, we're trying to register folks for wellness services - not your Spring Break 'Ass on the Floor' contest.
4. Pass gas, repeatedly, in common areas of the gym. If you're having an overtly flatulent day, do everyone a favor and elect an outdoor activity, Pepé Le Pew!
5. Of the 100's of seed offerings in your gardening center, point out the collard greens selection to me as I'm browsing. How you ain't know I wasn't looking for the arugula, heaux?
6. Expect to hold a full conversation with me in the locker room, while you're naked. I respect people's exhibitionist ways, just don't force it on me. Towels have a purpose and trust me, those are towel-worthy boobs.
7. Ask me to be your lanemate in the pool, because every one else, but me, knows that you splash, dive and back flip for fun during lap hours.
7a. Tap my foot in the water to pass me if I'm going slower than you - only for you to slow down once you're in front of me!
8. Walk past a long row of EMPTY ellipticals, mills or bikes to choose the machine right next to me.
9. Not realize that everything has a place! I learned that in pre-K. If you take a free weight off of the rack to use and when you're done and go to walk away - if that weight is on the floor, you missed a step.
10. Pick the busiest time of day at the park to sight-see and take pictures of friggin' birds, ON the trail and not from the observation deck - where the other bird picture-taking dweebs are!
|Fruit2Day, who's |
I won't judge. Yes I will.
11. Crowd the produce section with fake or processed fruits and vegetables. And don't even get me started on fruit and veggie 'substitution' products, like Fruit2Day "A new way to eat fruit?" I guess the old way (full of fiber and consumed by chewing) is out of style now, huh?
12. Reveal to me that you're "a vegan too," and that you only eat fish, chicken or select cheeses.
Wow, that was therapeutic.